What if I loved you instead?
by J Black
Summary: He will be mine, because I'm Lily Evans, and I'm Perfect." What if Lily Evans Loved James Potter instead?


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What if I Loved You Instead? 

By: J Black

_I love myself, better than you_

_I know its wrong, so what should i do?_

_- On a plain, Nirvana_

I'll never fully understand why I loved James Potter. Until the end of sixth year, I'd always had the impression he was the most annoying person I hadever met. He then told me that the idea was foolish, because I had never met every single person on the Earth. That was James Potter.

I met him in first year and from that moment on I could think of no greater pleasure than to choke him with his own tie. He was everything I never knew I always hated.

By the time second year came, he had already dated girls as old as fifth year. I was disgusted at all the girls that seemed to be under this boy's not so charming charm.

In the middle of second year, James Potter fell. He fell in love with me. I doubt he even knew what love was, but whatever. The point is, the last thing I wanted to do was catch him.

So the tale began, the unstoppable asking out, the running after me, everything. He never understood that I simply hated him. With all I had. And he also could not stop making fun of Snape! I later found out the full story about Snape, but that's a different matter.

Somewhere in sixth year, James and I, we began to…tolerate each other. Well it was mostly me tolerating James and James drooling. We went from mere acquaintances, to being kind of friends. I got to know his "posse" better…and then the more I got to know the real James Potter…the more I enjoyed him. He became a friend, and then it happened.

No, I didn't catch _him_. I didn't kill Peeves. I didn't go out with Sirius Black. I fell in love with James Potter. I didn't even doubt that there he would be, waiting to catch me. Not quite your average paperback love story.

As I sit here, looking at James, I wonder how ironic it is that he's the one that I married.

"Sweetie? Watcha thinking about?" asks James.

"James…?" I replied.

"Mhmm?"

_"What if I loved you instead?"_

* * *

"Y'all ready for this?" Lily asked as the five of them were about to step onto the Hogwarts express. 

"Ready for what?" asked Caity.

"Sixth year, you blonde!" replied Lily meanly.

The five of them hopped onto the train and quickly found a compartment at the back. As Lily sat down she gazed at the other four girls she had chosen to be her friends.

Caitlyn O'Donovan. She was considered one of the biggest "hoes" to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts. She'd gone past second base before second year came. She used to have bright golden blonde hair, until one day she decided it'd be fun to dye it brown. It certainly helped her get more guys…and girls.

Mary Carter. Mary just made everyone mad, simply because she was everything every girl wanted to be. She had dyed golden blonde hair but no one cared that it was dyed because it simply looked so good. She had the loveliest eyes in the perfect shade of blue. She was perfect height, perfect body, perfect everything. She did well in classes and was good at every sport. Even muggle sports. The saddest fact to every boy was…she simply was not one of those girls who used their beauty.

Rebecca Robinson. She was Caity's twin but…not literally. They were both sort of whores, and that was known around the school. Rebecca, a.k.a. Becca, had dirty blonde hair with light green eyes. Every guy had gone out with Becca and every guy had gotten exactly what they wanted.

Finally, Riley Fahrant. Ri was incredibly short it sort of creeped everyone out. There wasn't much to say about her other than her bright platinum blonde hair and blue grey eyes.

Lily started thinking about herself. I'm not bad looking…okay I'm sexy, she thought to herself.

"Whad'ya say we go see the Marauders. Mhmm those sexy thangs," spoke Caity.

"Ugh, Caity you slut." Mary said.

"Laaadies! It's me!" came a voice from outside the compartment. Becca grinned. Caity smiled and smoothed out her skirt. Lily smiled and Mary simply groaned. It was Sirius Black, with his posse consisting of James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. They were…the Marauders.

"So Potter…wanna go do something in that broom closet…?" asked Lily cheekily.

"Your mom."

"Oh. Cold James, that was cold," commented Sirius…who soon forgot about that and plopped himself next to Mary.

Needless to say, there was no other word for Sirius…than sexy with capitals. He had hair that was styled in just the correct way, and he had those steel grey eyes that were always filled with humour. He was smart too, but sometimes one of the biggest jerks.

Peter Pettigrew was considered very good looking as well. He was considered "cool" as well…but many would find that he seemed to just follow the others around.

Remus Lupin. No one really knows Mr. Lupin do they? thought Lily. His eyes were the darkest shade of amber and once you looked into them, you were mesmerized by their simple beauty.

And then there was James. James Potter. He was the part that truly marked the marauders. It was enough to make Lily's day just to see his face suddenly split into that grin that just made him James Potter. It was enough to see that twinkle in his hazel eyes when he cracks a joke or plays a prank on Snape. He made the Marauders smart, and added that special charm. He was nice to everyone…except for Lily.

In James' eyes, Lily was everything he just did not want to associate with. Sure, she was very attractive. Yet, to his opinion, she had the personality of a cabbage. While the rest of the school admired the way Lily could be so quick witted when it came to younger students, James hated the way she always put down his friend in third year, who had a special talent for walking into walls.

"Right! Sirius, how are you?" Caity asked jumping into his lap.

"Caity, no. We're friends but I am_not_ going to third base with you!" was the hearty but firm reply.

"Ugh. Mary gets it all," complained Caity.

"No, no , no. Mary doesn't get it all because Mary doesn't want it," interjected Mary, who then got a sad look from Sirius. Sadly, no one took Sirius seriously.

"Damn it, Sirius. Why do we have to sit here?" exclaimed James. He then looked at Becca, Mary, Riley and Caity and smiled charmingly.

" I meant the Lily factor."

"Ah" was the reply that came from four mouths.

"Listen, I gotta pee," stated James.

"That's fascinating," commented Peter.

"Yeah I'll be back."

As soon as he left, Lily exploded. Well...not literally.

"Why ME godamnit? I'm sexy! Why shouldn't he like me?" asked Lily.

"I think that's why," replied Becca, smiling in a way that made Lily feel uneasy.

"I'm a little arrogant, so what? He can't judge me! He plays pranks on people!" she yelled.

"Lily calm down. James isn't shallow. He wants personality. Maybe, someone who will treat him like an equal," explained Remus.

"You love yourself better than him! That's just wrong," said Caity.

"I will get him. You mark my words -"

"I'll mark it! CanI mark it?" interrupted Sirius, with that silly smile.

Lily cracked a smile, "Sirius you dumbass. Fine you can mark it. What was i saying? Right...after Sirius marks my words...I will get James Potter.Watch me."

"You're full of it, you know that?" came a voice from behind her.

Lily froze. Oh no, oh no. This was not going to help her situation. She turned around and looked into James's eyes.

"Go find someone else you slut," he told her.

No one talked for the rest of the ride. Remus hung back and observed everyone. Riley was openly staring at Peter, who was reading a book. Caity was giving Sirius glances, but he wasn't returning them. The poor guy was staring at Mary, who was reading The standard Book of Spells, grade 6. James was staring out the window and Lily was staring at James. The one thing Remus missed, was Becca staring at him.

Suddenly the train came to a halt. They all marched off towards the horseless carriages that would take them to the Hogwarts Castle. The boys and the girls seperated into their own carriages.

"Lily, what the hell was that!" Mary nearly yelled.

Lily looked at her coolly, "Pardon?"

"You know what! You made that whole train ride just awkward!"

"I don't care. It was his fault."

Mary looked at Lily and said, "Lily...you've liked him since first year. You're so popular, pretty, rich and you have everything you want. Why do you want the one guy you could never have?"

Lily scoffed.

"He will be mine, because I'm Lily Evans, and I'm _Perfect_."

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Author's Note: 

How'd you people like it? I stopped with The Seventh Year...well because i didn't like it. At all. PLEASE REVIEW! I beggeth you! And rate my story! Thank you!


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